Thursday, July 7, 2011


So....since Ainslee's been gone, there have been songs that really touch me. Either make me so incredibly sad, make me miss Ainslee, make me feel alone, or comforted...a range of emotions. I wanted to share some of these songs that just really touch me, in one way or another.

If I Die Young by: The Band Perry
Lord make me a rainbow, I'll shine down on my mother
She'll know I'm safe with you when she stands under my colors, oh and Life ain't always what you think it ought to be, no Ain't even grey, but she buries her baby

The sharp knife of a short life, well
I've had, just enough time

If I die young, bury me in satin
Lay me down on a, bed of roses
Sink me in the river, at dawn
Send me away with the words of a love song

I Get a Little Bit Stronger by: Sara Evans
Woke up late today and I still feel the sting of the pain
But I brushed my teeth anyway
I got dressed through the mess and put a smile on my face
I got a little bit stronger..............

I know my heart will never be the same
But I'm telling myself I'll be okay
Even on my weakest days
I get a little bit stronger

Love Them Like Jesus by: Casting Crowns
The gifts lie in wait, in a room painted blue
Little blessing from Heaven would be there soon
Hope fades in the night, blue skies turn to grey
As the little one slips away

You’re holding their hand, you’re straining for words
You’re trying to make sense of it all
They’re desperate for hope, darkness clouding their view
They’re looking to you

Just love them like Jesus, carry them to Him
His yoke is easy, His burden is light
You don’t need the answers to all of life’s questions
Just know that He loves them and stay by their side
Love them like Jesus

A Mother's Prayer by: Celine Dion-played at Ainslee's funeral
I pray you'll be my eyes
And watch her where she goes
And help her to be wise
Help me to let go

Every mother's prayer
Every child knows
Lead her to a place
Guide her with your grace
To a place where she'll be safe

I pray she finds your light
And holds it in her heart
As darkness falls each night
Remind her where you are

Every mother's prayer
Every child knows
Need to find a place
Guide her to a place
Give her faith so she'll be safe

Lead her to a place
Guide her with your grace
To a place where she'll be safe

Gosh I miss her. I want her back. I don't want to do this. I don't want to live this life of grief. I want to feel hope, joy, laughter again. I want her here to share that with. These songs just make me sad, but also make me feel comforted because they're our story. Casting Crowns has alway ministered to my heart. They've seen me through some tough times. And once again, they're here for me, God is here for me, in my darkest days. I'm trying every day to get a little bit stronger, but it's sometimes too hard. I do feel so weak. I feel so alone sometimes, so incredibly sad.

28 “Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. 29 Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. 30 For my yoke is easy and my burden is light.”  Matthew 11:28-30

Lord~ Help me. Help me to get stronger. Help me to find hope. Hold my little girl tight and tell her how very much I love her. Since I can't teach her about you, please teach her about me.



  1. Casting Crowns is one of the greatest christian bands, and I love their song "Praise You In This Storm" the best. Sometimes it is hard to praise God in all situations in life, but we have to. God is the same, no matter what we are going through. I admire your strength. You are awesome!

  2. Sorry about your lose. I will pray for your strength to get through it. I can't imagine what you may be going through. I loved looking at your beautiful little angels. Hang in there, God can strenghten you and your family beyond words. Rely on Him and He will be your strength! Love you girl!

  3. I lost my mother almost 2 years ago. She was only 59 and I know exactly what you mean about the songs. Sometimes I'm healed by their lyrics and sometimes I'm simply brought to tears. I love all of those songs. Martina McBride's 'Anyway' is one that I've always found very healing when dealing with loss like this.

  4. *tears* ....The first two songs do the same for me....I have a few others as well...

    Need you now by Lady Antebellum
    Kiss Goodbye by Little Big Town
    You are not alone by Michael Jackson
    In the arms of an angel by Sara Mclachlan
    Ghost by Cavo
    Then by brad paisley
    Hesitate by stone sour
    My immortal by evanescence

    Some of these are just reminders of the times we danced together. Ohers have to do with the lyrics.

  5. I know it's been a while since you posted this, but I just came upon you're blog and i'm so sorry for your lost, she was so precious. I myself brought my little angel into this world asleep on 3/29/09. I always till this day wonder what life would have been with my precious boy, I never got to spend time with him, but I remember all the plans I was planning with him and I miss him soooo much. There's a beautiful song that was and still hard to hear but is wonderful it's called "Glory Baby" from " Water Mark". Godbless you and your family.