Wednesday, July 13, 2011

Bows for Ainslee!

So I came across a site that I had saved the week before Ainslee passed away and it was saved in my favorites on my computer. I clicked on it to see what it was and it was a bow holder to hold all of Ainslee's bows we would end up collecting. It matched her nursery as she has owls in there. It's on etsy. Here's a pic of it.

I just thought it would be perfect for her. I was so excited to collect bows for her for each holiday occasion and put them on her bow holder.

I never got to get this for her, and the collection of bows stopped.

I decided that I wasn't ready to stop collecting bows for her. I wanted bows still for all the holidays and any that I would've normally bought for her. I think this will be something that I can still do to remember her and get the fulfillment of at least trying to get these things for her, even though I know she'll never wear them. So, I think I'm still going to order this cute bow holder for her. And I'm going to collect beautiful, unique, and special bows for the times I feel like I want to do something special for my daughter. I thought about at 4th of July how I really wanted her firecracker bow and didn't get to get it. With her 1st birthday 3 months away, I know that I will want to get her a birthday bow. I sometimes wear a bow of Ainslee's when I want to feel her close or feel like she's with me in a picture. It helps me to heal.

This bow was worn at Adrian's party to remember Ainslee. I remember the day I bought this bow for her. She wore it on her first trip to meet her great grandfather so it has special meaning for me.

I've been really trying to find a way to honor Ainslee and have thought hard about what I will do to continue this beautiful legacy our daughter started. I've always wanted to get into photography and haven't. Now may be the time. I feel like I'd have a lot to learn and a long way to go. I want to hold an annual event in Ainslee's name, possibly an annual Spring for SIDS baseball game at Travis' old high school. Or, if this bow collection I start turns into a love gift that Ainslee could give to other baby girls when they're born, that may be what I need to carry on these sweet memories of our daughter. I pray about it daily. I pray for God to minister to my heart what He wants me to do, what she wants me to do. I will let the two of them guide me and will completely be subservient to their plans. It makes me excited for what the future holds. Wow. I really just said I was excited. I guess there can be "good" moments. It makes me excited for my daughter, that she can still live on.

Matthew 21:22
And whatever things you ask in prayer, believing, you will receive.



  1. What a great idea! Your sweet girl Ainslee is lucky to have a mom like you. She will live on because of you. I love the bow idea, and am so happy to hear of your excitement! Good luck to you on your new idea! It's a great one!

    For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.
    Jeremiah 29:11

  2. Oh I think that is a wonderful idea. That is so sweet. Praying for you and so glad that you can say that something makes you excited. I know that Ainslee would want you to be happy. Your strength comes from the Lord and Ainslee and I pray that they continue to give you strength:)

  3. I have been reading your blog for some time now but could never comment. I am so glad I can comment now.

    You and I are so much a like. I feel like you and I are living the same life. Not the one we would both pick none the less.

    I am a bow maker and would love to make Ainslee bows for you. Let me know!

    I am thinking about you Channan. This journey is an impossible one. I'm here if you need me.

    Kellie (Maddie's Mom)
    Here is my bow page:

  4. I forgot here is my e-mail :

  5. Channon, I have been following your blog for only a short time now. But this post really made me want to comment for the first time. That bow idea is such a beautiful idea. I think it would be a very cute idea and very special and individual to Ainslee. Good luck with whatever you would do to honor your little girl.

  6. I just stumbled across your blog recently, and I must say that I admire your strength and determination. With that said, I would love to make bows for Ainslee! Please contact me at:!/pages/Sidekick-Korkers/181271921892166

    "With the new day comes new strength and new thoughts." -Eleanor Roosevelt

    Elizabeth Bergman