Tuesday, November 22, 2011

It is a Small World Afterall

So yesterday when I put up my SIDS information that I wanted to share, I had a friend of mine share it on her facebook wall. I thought it was so sweet that she is just as passionate about it because of all she's witnessed with us. It definitely made me feel supported. As I checked facebook last night, I saw that someone had responded to the post on her page. This is what that response said:

Great post and a wonderful reminder. My brother, Brad, was the firefighter that responded to Ainslee. He said that was his hardest day ever on the job. We have been praying for the Soppe family, that God will give them peace and healing and will BLESS their family abundantly.

I read this and became hot all over, I started to sweat, and thoughts and feelings came flooding in immediately. I have thought about the responders to Ainslee since the day she died, and I've always wanted to thank them. They were the only ones there to help her. I haven't gotten the courage up to actually follow through and writing the letter or figuring out what in the world to say. How do you thank someone for trying to revive your child and be with them when you couldn't? I decided immediately to send her a message on facebook....

Hi Stacie. I just saw your response to the post Stacy put on her wall about our Ainslee. I saw that your brother responded to her. There has not been a day that has gone by that I haven't thought about the EMT's and firefighters that responded to her. I have the address down to send them a thank you letter for trying to save our little girl but haven't gotten the courage or the right words to say to write it. I can't believe your brother was there. I have been so terrified that she was alone, that I wasn't there to help her, to be her mother and protect her. I have awful, vivid thoughts that cross my mind about what she was going through and what the team was doing to save her, knowing I could do nothing and wasn't there to protect her. My son was there at the time too when this happened. He was 19 months old at the time. I can't believe your brother was there, I just can't believe it. Can you tell him thank you for me? For doing the best he could for our little girl. I've thought about how that day impacted the responder's life. Since I couldn't be with her when it happened, I have prayed that the people that responded to her cared for her as if she was their own. I'm just in tears. I'm so glad you responded to Stacy's message she put out there. Please let your brother know what him and his team means to us.

Channan Soppe


Her response:

Channan,
I hope that my response was okay. I just recently made the connection that the famly I have been praying for is Travis Soppe's family. I went to Bell with Travis, although I did not know him well. My heart breaks for you, truly breaks. My brother cared for your sweet baby girl. He was the first responder with his friend Ryan. Ainslee was not alone, he was there and was praying over her even after he handed her to the doctors. He was very worried about you. Brad is my baby brother and one that does not let things affect him. He called me after he left the hospital when he was alone and asked me to pray for you. He knew your first name and Ainslee's name. He told me what happened and he cried for you and Travis. We have been praying for you ever since. He knew your son was at the babysitters. He told me a big focus was to protect your son from what was happening. I want you to know that my brother has done many calls, it is his job, but your daughter was more than a job to him. You and her have affected him more than anyone. You have made him a better responder. There is no thank you necessary. Although, I greatly appreciate it. I know that God has a plan and a purpose although, many times it is hard to understand. Thank you for sharing your story, your heart, and your hurt. You are saving many lives by making us aware. How can I continue to pray for you? As a mom, I cannot imagine what you are going through. Know that there are many people you are not aware of and do not even know that are still praying for your family. My family will remember Ainslee forever.

Love, Stacie


Again in tears, I responded back to her.

Your response was more than okay. It's just been heavy on my heart to either meet the team that worked on Ainslee or thank them in some way but it makes me feel so comforted to know that your brother was praying over her. Thank God she was in good hands. That is so comforting as a mother because I have felt so helpless. To know she was in the care of a Christian person who was using the power of prayer to help her does numbers for me. I still sit here and just cry thinking about all they did for her, to her. The pushing of medicines, the CPR, the intubation. It's just all so overwhelming and sickening. I remember when I was trying to find my way to the ER, running around the hospital and finally saw the ambulance that brought her there, there was a man standing by the ambulance as I looked in the back frantically for her. He told me they took her inside. He looked young. I was thankful they let us go into the ER room with her while they worked on her. That day forever marks the most awful day for us. We are definitely still trying to recover and I'm sure it'll take alot longer to do so. It's now been 9 months, feels like yesterday, and we'll soon be approaching her 1 year mark. I just still have a hard time wrapping my head around this and realizing this has happened. Again, thank you for letting me talk to you...and please please, tell your brother what he means to me. When I couldn't be with my daughter, which is the most gut wrenching thing, he was....and he prayed over her. I couldn't ask for more. Thank you.


Channan


What a small world. I couldn't believe this girl went to high school with Travis, and that her little brother helped our Ainslee. This of course brought up a lot of sadness, tears, and pain. But I am so thankful to have that communication open and get some of those hard emotions out. I will forever be greatful for the love and mercy God showed, even in such a difficult time. He sent in his prayer warriors to pray over our daughter, she was well taken care of. And of course I would still rather have been with her, to ride with her to the hospital instead of meet them there, but since I couldn't, I am so thankful that Brad and his team were the ones to care for her. She wasn't another job, she was a perfect baby girl, a symbol of life and love. The responders saw that, cared for her, and once again, Ainslee has used her short life to better others. What an amazing legacy she has left and how wonderful for a sweet baby to leave such an imprint on this world.

Always,
Channan

3 comments:

  1. I'm glad that you were able to reach out to the first responder's sister. I know how painful that was for you - I've been there, but like you, it's nice knowing that our children were in great hands when we weren't there to care for them. In the last 2 years, I have formed a special bond with the man that was with Erik during his final hours. I hope that you're able to meet the man that was with Ainslee as well.

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  2. Channan, I am crying with you. Praying for strength!!!

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  3. How wonderful that God placed a Christian to be the first to respond to Ainslee's call.
    Ainslee has touched so many people and continues to do so daily.
    I admire the strength you show and thank you for sharing your story with all of us.
    I love you, Channan.
    Love, Heather

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