Monday, June 27, 2011

BitterSweet October

October will be here before we know it. I have so many mixed emotions about October. There is so much going on that month that I initially was looking forward to, and now it'll be a painful memory of what was meant to be. I'll go in chronological order so I don't lose track. :)

October 1st- This will be our first annual "Walk to Remember." I have been going to a M.E.N.D. group (mommies enduring neonatal death) and I have met wonderful people there. I hate the reason we were brought together but am thankful for the time we spend together and the stories that are shared. I will be sending out an email soon to all who are interested in participating in this walk. It's not a fundraiser at all, it's simply a time to remember our Ainslee. I've started to gather ideas to get our shirts coordinated so our family and friends participating will all match and be representative of our sweet girl.

October 9th will be my 30th birthday. I thought I'd be sharing this special day with my girl. I was so excited to have both of my babies as I jumped into a new decade-one I was not too fond of. I wish I could just skip over this day.

October 15th is National Infant loss and Pregnancy loss awareness day. This will be a day where all around the world a candle is to be lit. At 7 p.m. in each time zone, if you can light a candle in remembrance of all the lost babies and keep it going for an hour, there will be a continuous light burning for our babies that entire day. For more information you can go to

October 20th is Travis' birthday. 31's definitely not as cool as turning 30! :)

October 29th used to be the day I would have my daughter in her pink tutu with an enormous bow in her hair and celebrating a year of life. Instead, I'll be at the cemetery. I just can't believe this is how we have to celebrate with her. I miss her so much. Happy 1 year Ainslee Ryan!

To top it all off...October is Pregnancy and Infant loss awareness month, along with SIDS awareness month. This is a time to really drive SIDS home and teach those who are unaware. I'm not saying we can definitely find a cure, but I know we can all do our jobs to educate.

I came across the following info from another blog that I feel gets the info across accurately:

How to reduce the risk of SIDS
We don’t know what causes SIDS, so we cannot say how to “avoid” it, but we can provide you with the most up-to-minute guidelines for reducing the risk of SIDS and other sudden unexplained infant deaths (SUID). First and foremost, educate yourself and everyone who cares for your baby on how to reduce the risks by following these guidelines:
1. Always lay your baby to sleep face up.
Side and tummy positions are not safe; check with your doctor if your baby has breathing problems.
2. Don’t smoke while pregnant and never smoke near your infant.
While pregnant or considering pregnancy do not smoke. Never let others smoke near your baby. Smoking is a major risk factor for SIDS.
3. Don’t let your baby get too hot.
Overheating is a leading risk factor for SIDS. Dress your baby in as much or as little as you would wear. If your baby is sweating, has damp hair, or a heat rash, he or she may be too hot. Room fans have been shown to reduce the risk of SIDS. Consider using a wearable blanket or other type of sleeper instead of a blanket.
4. Lay your baby to sleep in an approved crib, on a firm mattress.
Do not let the baby sleep on soft things, like a couch, pillow, sheepskin, foam pad, or waterbed. Remove all loose bedding, stuffed animals, and pillows from crib. Crib bumpers are not recommended and can be hazardous.
5. Create a healthy lifestyle for you and your baby.
When pregnant, see your doctor often and do not use drugs or alcohol. Talk with your doctor about changes in your baby and how your baby acts.
6. If possible, breast feed your baby.
Breast feeding has been shown to reduce the risk of SIDS.
7. Offer your baby a pacifier at all sleep times.
Pacifiers have been shown to reduce the risk of SIDS.
8. Put your baby on his or her tummy to play when your baby is awake and supervised.
Make sure someone is always watching. “Tummy Time” is good for your baby because it makes neck and shoulder muscles stronger.
9. Don’t share sleep surfaces.
Adult beds, couches, and chairs are not safe for infant sleep and increase the risk of SIDS, suffocation and accidental infant death. After breast feeding put your baby back in his or her crib.
10. Share these tips with everyone who cares for your baby.
Education is the key to keeping your baby safe
I'll end with the following to try to lift me up before I close....

"The Lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit." ~Psalm 34:18


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