38 weeks

Today I am 38 weeks pregnant! Every day I feel Hadlee moving is another day closer to having her in my arms. I still get paranoid all the time if I don't feel her that we're going to have another loss. I'm sure that's normal to feel and I try not to let it consume me. We have 11 days to go!

I have put on a total of 19 pounds thus far. I had a sinus infection for 10 days that made me not want to eat anything and it took off 6 pounds so I had to gain it all back. Hadlee keeps gaining weight and growing but I've kind of plateaued. I've been measuring 3 weeks ahead, I do with all the babies. :) So, I'm now measuring 41 weeks.

I've got Hadlee's bag packed, some of my stuff packed, her car seat together, her bassinet assembled. Now we just need her here. I go back to the doctor on Wednesday of this week and it may be my last appt.

Today after our Easter Egg hunt at church, we were driving home and Adrian was asking about Ainslee. He questioned if she was still in Heaven and we said yes. He then asked if she could come back from Heaven. It completely shatters me when I have to look at my innocent 2 year old and explain that she is so happy in Heaven and that one day we'll all be there together. But for now, we just have to keep remembering her and doing kind things for her and in her honor. It gets me emotional every time he asks about her. Or at night when he is saying his prayers and he looks up at the ceiling and says Goodnight Ainslee, Miss you Ainslee, Love you Ainslee. It tears me apart and gets me choked up. He is just the most amazing big brother for such a little guy. I've never seen so much love from a 2 year old. He loves his sisters. He already loves Hadlee and plays with her in my stomach. It's just the sweetest thing. He is so deserving of being a big brother to a living sibling.

We are really anticipating Hadlee's arrival and having her a part of our family.

This week is Holy week, the holiest time of the year. We are celebrating the resurrection of Jesus and our Hope for eternal life. I can't wait to share my Holy week through Easter with everyone. I wrote my faith statement last night that is to be shared at the Easter Vigil and I will share it on Easter. I hope everyone has a blessed week full of prayer, love and many memories with loved ones.