Tuesday, February 7, 2012

February 7th, 2011

Our last day as a family of four. I remember the night of February 7th vividly. I left work at 4 to go get Adrian and Ainslee from our daycare provider's home. When I got there I was so happy to see my smiley boy and sweet baby girl. I got them loaded up into my car and thought I would run through Chick-Fil-A for dinner. Travis was working late that night until 7 and wouldn't be home until about 7:30. We picked up dinner and headed home just the three of us. I was talking to one of my friends telling her how busy but wonderful life was with these two.

As we got home and situated, I had Adrian in his high chair eating. And I had Ainslee in my arms feeding her a bottle. She seemed a little cranky and I figured she was sleepy. At 7 I rocked her briefly to get her to sleep and laid her down in her crib. I then tended to Adrian and got him ready for bed while Travis was on his way home. We put Adrian to bed and sat on the couch to watch our shows. I always would check the monitor and go look in on Ainslee when she was sleeping. She was peaceful. It got time for us to go to bed and I thought Ainslee was sleeping a long time. I didn't expect her to go to sleep so early. Travis didn't get to spend any time with her that night. I decided to go sleep in our bed while she kept sleeping in her own bed. She ended up waking up at 1 am ready to eat. I got her up and changed her diaper, fed her and got her back to bed. After she went back to bed, she must have fussed and Travis went in there and ended up sleeping in the guest bed that was next to her crib.

That was our last night together. The last night she slept in her crib. The last time I fed her because Travis would feed her the next morning. It was the last time I sat in the darkness with her watching her drink her bottle and the last time I would feel complete.

The next day would change everything...

7 comments:

  1. Praying for you all. Thanking God for his strength when we have none of our own.

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  2. Prayers sweet friend! You've been on my mind constantly...always praying!

    xoxoxo

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  3. Praying for you!!! My heart is breaking for you!!!

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  4. Praying for you and your family.

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  5. Thinking of y'all today Channon. May God comfort you and hold you tight! (((HUGS)))

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  6. Channon, you are all I can think about. Been praying for you all throughout the day every day this week. It was overcast today & noticed the sun broke through & lifted up prayers as I look up at the sunset this evening. Thank you for sharing your heart with all of us during the hardest year of your life. You've touched mine & thousands more more than you will ever know. I take comfort that if or when I face the darkest day of losing a child, I'll know who to turn to.
    "Blessed are those who mourn, for the shall be comforted."
    Love you,
    Kim

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  7. Channon, you are all I've been able to think about. Been praying all through the day every day this week. I noticed it was overcast today & then when the sun broke through I immediately thought of Hadlee Hope. Thank you for sharing your heart of the hardest year of your life. I take comforter in knowing if when or ever I have to face the darkest day of losing a child, I will know who to turn to for comfort.
    "Blessed are those who mourn for they shall be comforted."
    Love you,
    Kim

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