Sunday, August 21, 2011

She Lives!

God heard me and in my loneliness he provided me with His love, His strength, His comfort. Today, we got up early and decided to go to 9:00 o'clock Mass. We typically go at 11 but figured we'd try to get church, breakfast, and the cemetery complete before noon. Adrian did so well in church this morning. There were two baptisms today, and of course they always bring a tear to my eye. So many memories of my sweet babies in that church.

Every Sunday our church has donuts and coffee following the service and Travis always jokes around about stopping in and getting a donut. We've joked about this for probably 3 years now. Today he seemed a little more persistent about the donuts, there was passion behind his joke. I figured today was the day to stop in, have a donut, and enjoy some juice with our church family. We got our food and sat down at a table with Adrian, he loved the chocolate donut. We don't get them too often. Afterwards, he was able to run free in the big gym they have there with all the other kids. He'd run really fast and then he'd stop for a bit to watch the older boys run really really fast.

As we enjoyed our family time my eye caught a huge flower. It was on the head of a beautiful baby girl. She was sitting in her car seat, smiling, cooing. My heart was being drawn to her and finally I had to get up to see her sweet face. I knew she was around Ainslee's age. I asked the mother if I could see her and she of course said yes so I bent down and talked to her. I touched her little feet, smiled at her, and she smiled back. The mother bent down and took my hand and introduced herself. She said, "I know who you are." I didn't have to tell her my story, she knew. She had tears in her eyes. Her sweet little one is 11 weeks old, close to Ainslee. The mother told me she vividly remembers Ainslee's baptism, that amazes me. I've heard from a few people that they remember her baptism and to me that's just wonderful. They REMEMBER.

As we talked, another woman came up to us, tears in her eyes. She immediately threw her arms around me, baby in hand. She just wept. She told me she's prayed for over 6 months for us now. She said she didn't know if she'd ever get to meet me, but she felt like a best friend because of how much she's prayed for us. She said she wakes in the middle of the night to pray, that she prays the rosary for us, that she thinks of us constantly. And the look in her eyes was the most genuine look I've ever seen. These two women I met were wonderful, they were God sent.

Before we parted ways, we discussed Ainslee and the fact that I have two very alive children. Ainslee is very much alive in Heaven. She is crawling, she is running, she is walking, she is talking, she is being loved...SHE LIVES! These women were so comforting, they reminded me that she is so alive. And to never forget that. I loved how I left church this morning and felt so blessed to have God take care of me in this way.

I got in my car and had a text message from an old friend. She told me that she shared my story with her friend and that her friend was so touched that she is naming her daughter Ainslee, after our sweet girl. She lives on!

As always, we stopped by the cemetery on the way home. We watered Ainslee's flowers and read her Blessings Every Day book. Here's today's story that I wanted to share with really wraps up my day.

For All Time

Anyone who believes in me, even though he dies like anyone else, shall live again. John 11:25

If you've ever had a grandpa, grandma, parent, sister, or brother who died, you know it hurts to have someone you love go away. But Jesus made us a wonderful promise. He said that when we believe in him, after we die, we will live again. We won't live on earth forever. But we will live in heaven with God for all time. And all those people who believed in Jesus and died before us will be there too, happy to see us again.

Although I'm sad when loved ones go away,
I'll be happy to see them again one day.

You see. God heard my cry, he knows my heart, and He is helping me to heal. He is showing me I'm not alone. That in my darkest times, He is there just as He always has been. Today was a blessing. And because of Him, she lives.



  1. God works in mysterious ways! I am sorry for your loss. Ainslee is beautiful and she is watching over you. Thank you for sharing her with us. God Bless you and your family.

  2. Hey Channon -

    I came across your blog from Another Day Stronger (Maddie Staats - Kellie's baby girl). Anyway. I just want you to know that my heart breaks for you. I've read all your posts from the beginning and this one definitely spoke to my heart. I lost my son on November 15, 2009 in a freak 4 wheeler accident. He was 5 years old.

    Please know that you and your family will be in my prayers. I am almost positive that my sweet boy is taking GREAT care of Ainslee!!!


    Ashley (