I am a wife and mother. I married Travis the summer of 2007 and life really took off. We welcomed our first born, Adrian Reese, June of 2009. We welcomed our second born, Ainslee Ryan, October of 2010 and had a short time with her. She was taken from us in February 2011, just 3 months and 10 days old, from the silent killer called SIDS. 6 months after she passed away, we found out we were expecting our 3rd, due in April of 2012. Our rainbow baby is a girl, sweet Hadlee Hope. We're slowly picking up the pieces and learning how to fit grief and happiness into this crazy thing called life.
Well HELLO! Yes, I am still here. I come to my blog frequently to visit my previous posts and revisit all my many emotions that have been traveled through in the last 2 1/2 years. Things/life have been so incredibly busy. Work is insanely busy, church is so so busy, and the kids are busier than ever. But, they are doing great. Hadlee is now 15 months old and just had her 15 month well check. Adrian had his 4th birthday and we take him for his well check on Thursday. Hadlee is my little firecracker. I mean, seriously. She is something else. She has such a sweet nature, and is also hilarious. She loves her brother, and he loves her so much. Life has really taken off. At 15 months, Hadlee knows a lot of her body parts. She knows head, ears, nose, eyes, mouth, tummy, fingers and toes. She can say, no, up, more, Mama, Dada, Adrian, Ainslee, Cash, Ball, thank you, and my favorite..ELMO. The way she says it is just too much. The work Elmo takes on about 4 syllables. She's a true Texan. She's got 11 teeth and is currently cutting 6 more! She's a little piranna. She is miserable with all the teeth cutting though. She's getting 4 molars and her 2 fangs. Adrian is busy this summer with swimming lessons, baseball and soccer lessons. He is loving playing outside and getting wet any chance he can get. Travis has been busy with work and our family. And I have been so busy with work and church. I help to put on a retreat for women and it's surrounded arounding renewing your faith and renewing our parish. I attended this retreat in January and have now gone through formation since January where we are planning for another 41 women to go through in just 3 short weeks. I am so thankful for this group of women, the love they have shown, and the ability to comfort in times of my dark despair. I am able to be so raw with them and show them the ugliness of grief. In a few weeks, I will be opening my heart up publically to 41 strangers. (Actually one going through is my nanny which I am so excited for!) My nanny helps us one day a week and she is a great sound of mind for me. :) All in all, we've been busy. But it's a good busy. If I can just keep ahold of work, I'll be alright. We did take a trip this summer with both kiddos to Iowa for a family wedding and it was a lot of fun. It was interesting traveling by plane with two little ones. Adrian was great. Hadlee was a little opionionated, but I let her speak her peace. We babysat Adrian's pet gecko from his school for 3 weeks, Adrian got 3 fish for his birthday, and we sadly said goodbye to 3 fish. I'm not sure what happened, but they didn't make it. We're taking a fish break, enjoying the summer with each other, and loving watching our children grow. They do something every day that is new, something that makes us laugh, and teaches us to appreciate all we've been given. Tonight I was out on a run, and as I was headed back towards home, only about a quarter of a mile left, Somewhere over the rainbow came on my itunes. The sky was bright pink, I was running and a gust of wind caught my hair. For a moment, I felt like I was surrounded by Ainslee. I was calm, at peace, and thankful for that moment. I miss her like crazy.