A Crazy Busy Weekend

I'd say this is a much long overdo post. For some reason, after we passed Ainslee's 1 year anniversary in Heaven, I felt like a big weight was lifted. I felt like I could breath. And yet, I was exhausted and didn't want to do anything. I focused on work, on Adrian and our family, and of course on our Hadlee. I've had so many things come up that I've thought about writing about and then just decided not to. So, today I thought, I just need to get back into the swing of things.

This weekend has been so busy. Friday Adrian had a birthday party to go to in the afternoon for a little girl at his preschool. All his kids from class were there and it was so fun to see them all together outside of the school setting. It was at a gym and he had so much fun. I had so much fun just watching him and letting him do gym activities that we normally don't get the chance to do. After we went to Travis' parents for dinner, and then caught a baseball game at Travis' high school. Adrian had a lot of fun running around chasing baseballs.

This morning we were up bright and early to go to our nephew and niece's soccer games. The first game started at 8 and they won! We then spent some time at Travis' sister's house until the next game at 10:30. Then my niece played her game and did a great job scoring 2 goals. Adrian loves to go watch them play and have fun with his cousins. We barely made it out of the parking lot and Adrian was passed out.

After we got him home, he took a much needed 3 hour nap, and I had to still wake him up. We then went out to eat with the neighbors and their little girl. Their little girl was born 2 weeks after Ainslee. I love being around her and Adrian together to just for a minute imagine what life would be like. It's hard to imagine since Ainslee isn't here, but I can pretend for a minute. Our neighbors are great people and have been so supportive through our loss. It's great when you have people your age with children that live across the street. And especially when you get along with them! :)

We just got Adrian in bed for the night and tomorrow marks another busy day. We have church at 9 and it's Palm Sunday! I love Palm Sunday. I always grew up with the story of Jesus riding into the crowds of people singing Hosanna and fanning Him with palm leaves. I love the story. I love this time of year. I love everything that this time stands for. It gives me hope for the future. Hope of being with Ainslee again. I miss her.

After church we have an Easter egg hunt at noon at church and then naps! And I'll probably be joining in on those.

This next week is my last week of work. My last day is Thursday. I will be 38 weeks pregnant tomorrow. We have 1 week and 5 days until she is here. I can not wait to have Hadlee in my arms and look in the face of her and Adrian. I can not wait to have them both on either side of me and feel the love amongst our family. I'm still praying everyday that she arrives safely, that she is a fabulous nurser and most importantly, that we get to grow old together. That is my prayer for our little family. That we all grow old together.

Easter is quickly approaching and there is a lot to be thankful for and a lot to rejoice about. We are healthy, Hadlee is coming soon, and I will be partaking in the Lord's Supper. How fulfilling will my life be in just two weeks. We already have so much to be thankful for with our marriage, our sweet son, and our little angel in Heaven. But the next two weeks shows me that there are still good things to come. There is beauty amidst a storm. There is always hope.

Farewell February....Hello HADLEE!

I can't tell you how happy I am to see February go. The first half of February was spent grief stricken and the second half was spent trying to recover and gain back energy. After February 12th, the day we buried Ainslee, I have just been exhausted. It has been an exhuasting year of grief, emotions, anxiety, sadness. I felt after Valentine's day, that I could start to breath again. It's nice to come up for air. I've just been exhausted. I think there's got to be so many emotions and hormones that have been happening in the last 2 years with getting pregnant with Ainslee and having her, losing her, getting pregnant with Hadlee, and anticipating her arrival. Right now, I am glad to have February over with until next year and next on our agenda...welcoming Hadlee!

So, it's time to try to focus on all of our blessings and the wonderful things we have going on in our lives. We have a beautiful 2 1/2 year old that fills our heart with love. And we are 5 weeks and 6 days from having Hadlee, totally not counting. :)

I am now almost 34 weeks pregnant. We got to see Hadlee two days ago, Adrian went to and he kept wanting to hear her heartbeat. We couldn't get a good picture of her face because she was head down and face down. She's getting pretty crammed in there, but seemed really content when she was resting. She doesn't rest much. Her measurements are all right on with where she is gestationally. She has hair! She doesn't have fluid in her kidneys! Ainslee had fluid in her kidneys that they noticed at my 38 week sono and I've been having them check Hadlee's kidneys as well. Hadlee was in the 52% and was estimating at 5 pounds and 1 ounce. We could see her practicing her breathing which is by far my most favorite thing to see. I remember seeing that with Adrian and how amazing I thought that was. I can't believe that babies can practice this in utero. It's just amazing.

I'm officially scheduled for my repeat c-section on April 12th, 3 days before her due date. I'm hoping the next weeks will pass quickly. I am so ready for her to be here and praying for a safe delivery for both her and I. I'm ready to look at the face of Ainslee's little sister. I'm already blessed with looking at her older brother's little face, and now another blessing to remind us of God's love. This month, Hadlee is being given 2 showers so we have exciting things to surround us with and look forward to. So ready for her to be in my arms and part of our family. I can't wait to tell her all about Ainslee.