Monday, August 27, 2012

Another Milestone...4 Month Well Check

We have reached another milestone on this exhuasting journey of milestones. Throughout our loss with Ainslee I've met many families, all which have lost babies to SIDS at various ages. I have all their ages memorized to the day of when they passed, and I have exhaustingly been counting down in my head to each one as Hadlee reaches those ages. When she passes each milestone, I breath a little better. It's one step closer to keeping her longer. I'm winding down to my last two SIDS dates. One is 3 days before she is 5 months old, and the other is the day she is 5 months old. And then of course the day she is 6 months will be huge. I do know a few people who have lost babies at 7 and 8 months...but I'm just focusing to get to 6 months for now. Today we had Hadlee's 4 month well check. This was a big milestone for me because I never made it to Ainslee's 4 month well check. When I left Hadlee's last well check, I couldn't help but wonder if it'd be our last well check. Not only did we reach this milestone, but it was a goal of mine to be able to go into that well check and say that my baby was still breastfeeding. And, we were able to reach that mileston as well. I am so proud of the both of us for working wiht the kinks and keeping the main goal insight of ensuring she gets breast milk. Today Hadlee weighed 14 pounds exactly which puts her in the 53rd percentile for weight. Height was 25 1/4 inches which put her in the 73rd percentile for height. She's doing all the things they look for, rolling over, great head control, plays with hands, grasps at objects, smiles, laughs and gurgles. Our pediatrician said he felt she was neurologically beyond her age which made me feel good. He talked about introducing rice cereal and this is a topic that I have been hung up on. I can't decide whether to do it or not. I did it with Adrian, and probably would have with Ainslee. But, after we lost Ainslee, I have found myself questioning a lot more which alters my parenting too. I'm not sure I really feel rice cereal is necessary, can't quite see the nutritional benefits it provides. I know it has iron in it but feel that at 4 1/2 months she's getting what she needs from breast milk. Today Hadlee's been pretty fussy but we've been patient with it. We were able to get her moved over into the bassinet, almost in time for her to outgrow it. But, it's working for the time being which I am glad. I feel she is safer in there. She is waking up frequently at night and only goes a maximum of 4 hours in between feedings. That 4 hours usually only happens right when she goes to sleep and then when she gets up for her first feeding around 1 AM, then she goes back to sleep until 4, and then until 6:30 AM. It gets to be pretty exhausting and with being up frequently, having to work full time, and still carrying grief daily, it makes for a pretty tiresome Mommy. I'm not complaining, this is all a good tired....but tired nonetheless. All in all, we're thankful every day for our family and really looking forward to all Hadlee will be attempting in the next couples months. Hopefully we'll be watching her sit up and start to really come into her own. Something that has been such a joy to see is watching Adrian with her. I felt so guilty when Ainslee passed away that I wasn't able to give Adrian the love of a sibling that he deserved. Hadlee has become smitten with her older brother. He makes her laugh so hard and it is the sweetest sound to hear. I love nothing more than seeing the love between them two at this age. I can't wait until she starts crawling and can follow him around everywhere. They are going to be quite the pair.


  1. I love reading your blog & hearing details of your theee beautiful children!

  2. Happy 4 months Hadlee! Continuing to pray for you Channan <3

  3. Those are huge milestones to overcome!! Ledger will pass his sisters age this winter, and I just want to get past it. I get anxiety just thinking about it. I too, thought of other kids as Ledger reached each of their ages. Hang in there, 6 months will be here before you know it!